Connected

For someone who can often openly describe himself as happily anti-social, it makes for the perfect foil when I find myself the loudest in the room, or leading a training session, or even craving social interaction.

At the same time, I tire of social settings as quickly as I adjust to them, when I thrust myself (or am thrust) into them.

For a long time, I felt bad wanting to be the first to leave, or wanting to leave “just when the parties getting started”, or wanting to eat my lunch alone, in a solitary crevice of the office. But it’s a recent area of change for me, the comfort in doing me. The comfort in knowing myself better than I ever have, and the strength to do what makes me happy and comfortable. Not in any sort of selfish way, by all means, if the occasion calls for it, I’ll suck it up, throw myself back into the midst of it all, and do what’s best in the situation.

So I guess the point of this musing is small and simple, and that is that it’s okay to not be what everybody wants you to be all of the time, but there is definitely value in allowing yourself to be in unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or just irregular situations. Sometimes it’s where we have the most fun. But we can do it with balance, knowing our limits, and being flexible.

Guise.

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Unicorns 

You can’t cage a unicorn. 

A very wise man once told me, everyone that comes into our lives is a challenge, one with learning to come from it. This stuck with me from that moment, because it rung true with what I had believed about people in my life for a long time. 

It was 7 months ago when I made a decision in my life which was not about money, but about acknowledging that as eager as I was (am), I wasn’t ready for what I wanted to be ready for. I rejected an opportunity to be someone bigger, someone more important. 

At the time I thought I had made the decision to allow myself to grow in a professional sense, I didn’t know that what I was looking for was personal guidance and growth. Demons I had hidden and thought to forget, conversations I refused to have with myself and loved ones. 

It was that decision which led me to find a unicorn. One of those overachieving,over-the-top, good at everything they do, destined for greatness kinds of people. A unicorn. One who with unruly persistence, human understanding and fortitude to bring it to the forefront, helped me find that personal growth I needed. 

But unfortunately, you can’t cage a unicorn. If you meet one, you have to know that they are fleeting, can’t be tied down, always on to the next thing. And for all the good they can do for you,you have to accept that for them, they need to move.

 So thank you. For everything. You’ll always have my gratitude, and my friendship. 
Good luck. 

Guise. 

Youthful Exuberance 

There was a time in which I was, 

Young and dumb, in arrogance,

Believing that I did know more, 

Than what I had begun to earn. 

Ignorance did feed my ego, 

Enough to elevate myself, 

Above those whom I thought moronic, 

Not understanding of perspective. 

Regret, I have none of this time, 

For I am reminded of the journey, 

To this present state of mind, 

In which I do see I was wrong. 

Not wrong in matter of the fact, 

But in my selfish imposition, 

To discount all because of bias, 

Youthful exuberance tried and tested. 

And as the years, nay days go by, 

I learn and grow and change my mind, 

Trying to steer from my opinion, 

Towards an open, flexible cognition. 

So some day as I count my blessings, 

I hope that I can sit and say, 

That I was wise enough to listen, 

Not just to stand and speak my way. 

The Taller the Tree, the Harder the Fall 

We do our best, and sometimes our best isn’t enough. Other times we succeed, and the rest of the time we’re under appreciated. 

It’s a shit feeling to give your absolute all to something and fail. Perhaps even exhausting. To taste the air upon the dire cliffs of despair. So much so, that it makes you ask, why do I even bother. 

Whether it’s a task, a talent, a relationship or a game, failure tastes sour. 

Considering though, that we are merely flesh, bone, and bacteria, it’s quite extraordinary that we do not fail at everything we do. Cognitive function (whatever that is) and behavioural conditioning actually allows us to learn from our failures and grow. So why then, with such ability do we continue to fail in areas that we should have learned from? 

I think that the hardest part of failure isn’t the disappointment from ourselves and our friends, nor even the repercussions of our inability,  but rather most ironically it is knowing that you need to return to the metaphorical horse, but simply cannot bring yourself to do it. 

The difficulty lies within convincing that voice in your own head that it’s okay to fail, everything will be fine, you’ll grow from this, blah blah. 

It is acknowledging that what is done is done, and that it is not a failure, bit rather an opportunity which did not previously exist. 

Easier said then done. Stay resilient, believe that you can do better, always keep learning, and acknowledge your shortcomings for what they were, and not what they are. 

I never was good at practising what o preach. 

Guise