Soliloquy in Thought No. 1

A word of empassioned influence, the crowd in the palm of the hand, of the speaker and his confidence, a great more great with falling sand.

A lesson amongst the madness, the co tent vast and growing, of better lives and greater minds, a time of knowledge flowing.

A discussion with the people, the matter to be addressed, of changing what one knows, a life that has been blessed.

A challenge to authority, the power undermined, of information scrutinised, a difficult endeavour.

A mention in praise of effort, the journey nears an end, of undetermined learnings, a process ought to mend.

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Fear of Loss and Life

My greatest fear in life is losing what I love, from my partner, my family, my friends, my mind, to even my life. For this reason, (perhaps even prior to this fear fully developing) I’ve learned to cherish what it is I have, to appreciate the people in my life and how fortunate I am to be in the world that I live in.

I think the greatest factor to this fear, is the lack of control I have in stopping loss. Death is inevitable and people do/say/believe things that we do not agree with. In all honesty, I am not what you would typically consider a control freak. Flexibility, open-mindedness, and empowerment of others are some of the traits that I am most proud of, but this fear and subsequent lack of control in avoiding this fear becoming reality comes from the realisation that life changes in an instant. It is devastating and destabilising. It forces us to adapt when all we want to do is stagnate.

If we look at one of the defining flaws to result from this fear, I now live a life which is as risk averse as possible. Decision making is tiresome, and opportunities become limited, all because of a fear that I may set in motion a ripple which inevitably causes me loss. And then I’ll only have myself to blame for ruining what I had.

Considering how short life is, as I really appreciate with ever-passing day, I want to make a committed effort to forgoing the fear, and remove risk (to a fair degree) from my regular decision making, and to just live.

I know that there is plenty to experience and learn when I let it go, now it’s a matter of making it more of a reality.

Guise.

Traditionally Speaking

Let’s talk about tradition. It forms part of our default habits and behaviours, celebrates our ancestors and their ways, and often gives us insight into best practice.

Without tradition, we would spend each generation learning many of the same lessons. We rely on it, but then we also urge to steer from it, looking for new ways, better ways, different ways.

But the most satisfying aspect of tradition, is when you reach an age, that you start to build your own sub-cultural traditions. Days of the year, family events, celebrations.

Today is one of those days, a day spent with friends, and I’m thankful for that.

Here’s to tradition.

Guise.

Grateful Sunday

Today calls for an appreciation post. You know how we’ve spoken about the little things in life, and stopping to truly experience the life around us, well this is me doing that for the first time in a while.

I consider myself to be a very lucky person for a lot of reasons. I have social privilege; my health, and that of my loved ones, is fine; more support systems than one person could ever need; comfortable job; soulmate by my side, and more to list than in a single paragraph. I appreciate all of this and more, because I know that I’ve got it good.

Let’s just say, I’m not the easiest personality. I’m opinionated, hot and cold socially, loud and confident in myself, and often stubborn, but despite this, my family, friends, and partner all keep me close, keep me welcome, and embrace me for me. These can be difficult traits to be around, and it’s for that reason that I constantly make a conscious effort to reign that in, but knowing that I’m understood and loved is something I’m extremely lucky and grateful for.

So to my family who have helped to shape me to who I am, my friends who have kept us all together for a long time, and to the love of my life… Thank You.

Guise.

Passion

Misplaced by many;
Each nature not private,
On sleeves and in hearts.
One searches,
One finds,
One is empowered.
Embodied in the disheartened thrills,
Each must empathise.
For what meaning does passion unite?
May it be accepted in order to belong;
Socially acceptable behaviour.
Not that one must be accepted,
For passion thives greater within,
Lust overpowers the patterns on ones sleeve,
Desire and emotion create meaning for some,
And crush others…
Why?
Simply passion drives.
We must yet steer,
But accept our own destinations.

Guise.

Connected

For someone who can often openly describe himself as happily anti-social, it makes for the perfect foil when I find myself the loudest in the room, or leading a training session, or even craving social interaction.

At the same time, I tire of social settings as quickly as I adjust to them, when I thrust myself (or am thrust) into them.

For a long time, I felt bad wanting to be the first to leave, or wanting to leave “just when the parties getting started”, or wanting to eat my lunch alone, in a solitary crevice of the office. But it’s a recent area of change for me, the comfort in doing me. The comfort in knowing myself better than I ever have, and the strength to do what makes me happy and comfortable. Not in any sort of selfish way, by all means, if the occasion calls for it, I’ll suck it up, throw myself back into the midst of it all, and do what’s best in the situation.

So I guess the point of this musing is small and simple, and that is that it’s okay to not be what everybody wants you to be all of the time, but there is definitely value in allowing yourself to be in unfamiliar, uncomfortable, or just irregular situations. Sometimes it’s where we have the most fun. But we can do it with balance, knowing our limits, and being flexible.

Guise.

Pressure 

A moment and a glance or two,

In which way may it be true?

If nature simply specifies,

accordingly,

To recognise and justify.

Decisions and commitments,

Raging intuition,

If nothing more.

Know your path,

Prepare for detours,

Act with sense.

One must measure

The enormity of the journey

If one expects,

One assumes,

And one learns.

While the path,

Relentless,

Consumes.

Take control and grow. 


Guise.