A Line of Production

Every now and then, I find myself being productive.

It happens not out of preparation, nor is it borne of any guilt, intrigue, or opportunity. And there is plenty of guilt within to motivate me if that actually worked. No, rather it’s an urge, a sudden realisation that I am already within the productive mode and a feeling that, well I’m here now, so let’s just do as much as possible and ride the wave.

This is a magical time where rooms are cleaned, doors and drawers are fixed, overdue appointments are booked, and so on. These periods of being productive take a lot of weight off the to do list, which is great for everyone involved.

I guess this seems like an odd thing to be writing about this week, right? I’m not the kind of person that gets off on getting shit done, which is one of the characteristics which frustrates me about myself. I doubt myself, distract myself, confuse myself, and convince myself that everything will be sorted on another day, at another time, or in another place. So when I’m in the midst of manic productivity, I try and use it to the best of my ability.

One of the few things that I have noticed over the years which sends me into this mode is responsibility. An overwhelming sense of obligation. If my inaction (or action) is going to affect other adversely, I am triggered into it. and God help you if you get in my way once I’m there.

I feel like the reason I’m sharing this thought with you today, is that as much as I hate that I am programmed like this, and despite my efforts to change otherwise, I’ve learned to work with it. When I’m not feeling productive, I do my best to enjoy the downtime. Use it, harness it to recharge, to build myself up for the challenges ahead.

This isn’t a happy story, but maybe a helpful one.

Guise.

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A passing moment 

A thousand blades of grass below, and broken clouds of shades above. Wandering ants and rising plants, surrounding sounds of neighbours plans. 

A million microscopic cells at any single visual point, paint a picture for the sake of sake, and weave a memory within our mind’s tapestry.

Take any single moment in time, isolate as many elements of that moment, one by one. Take it in. Separate the sound of passing traffic, from the whistle of that summer breeze. Every muscle, ligament, and bone that works together as you scroll meanderingly through Facebook, your eyes constantly adjusting, re-focusing, absorbing. 

Millions upon millions of unconscious cells been carried though a fragile ecosystem that we call ‘person’.

It’s almost not our fault, that we live lives filled with such extensive stimuli, it would be impossible to appreciate every single element that goes into making any given moment, a reality.

There is a peace, however, in slowing down and isolating the experiences.
Take a moment away from your feeds, from the unending flow of information at your fingertips. A slow deep breath, and a taste of mindfulness.

In a world which is passing so quickly, it is these moments that centre me. Putting existence into perspective. 

Guise