A Broker named Existence

We’ve heard the term “borrowed time” in films, songs, books, tv and probably even used it ourselves at least once in our lives. It’s one of those paradoxical idioms we glaze through, unfiltering what we actually mean by using it other than colloquially whipping off some response to make it sound like we’re listening.

But it’s quite a morbid term to use as liberally as we do. Tugging at the existential heart-strings of our psyche. Whether we’ve done deals with the devil, or simply been graced the chance to live a life we didn’t ask for (that I know of), we exist within a bracket, a set of two dates. A set of time which is not ours, but with which we use.

It makes you wonder, maybe even ponder, the purpose of this debt. The reason we were granted a chance to achieve a goal we were never set.

I guess that is the beauty of this existence. We are given a chance to do whatever it is our minds and hearts desire. A chance to choose our outcomes, or at the very least influence the path we are walking on. Making as many poor decisions as we do wise ones. Learning new skills, having unique or common experiences, creating memories for ourselves or others.

Want to make a lot of money and obtain a socially valued status.. go for it. Want to travel the world and share your stories with anyone willing to reach with an ear.. knock yourself out. Want to have a family and pass on your genetics to survive another generation.. heck, life doesn’t even care if you should, so why not? Maybe you want all of the above and more, well, nothing is impossible.

It’s a beautiful life, or maybe just a beautiful concept. Either way, you’re in debt, so go and enjoy it whilst you can.

Guise.

 

A Moment Defined (Vol.1)

This time last year, I had just rejected an extension to my employment contract after two long years at the same company. It was a decision I didn’t make lightly. Although the work was frustrating and change seemed impossible there, it was a comfortable job with great benefits (not so much the remuneration).

When I came into the job, it was off the back of feeling like a failure leaving the job before. Caveat to this, I must mention that when I look back now, three years on, I no longer believe myself to have failed, rather I achieved as much as I could despite the barriers outside of my control.

So feeling like a failure, for the second time in two jobs, I started in a role I was barely qualified for. Responsible for more than I’d ever been responsible for before, unsure of my knowledge and capability, I was at a point doubting that I was ever capable of succeeding in my field. But over the space of 2 years, I had the leader that I needed. One who was willing to be strong at the right times, and trusted me to make mistakes and learn from them. 24 months of being empowered proved to be everything I needed. And so I reached a point where I could learn no more from that leader. We had reached the max of what could be achieved in that dynamic.

With that in tow, I turned down the extension. I left that employer with nowhere to go, but not empty-handed. I entered a difficult labour market with 2 years more experience and all the confidence that I could hold. I was employable, at the very least. But I wasn’t just looking for employment. i wanted somewhere that I could make a difference, somewhere that I could feel the culture just through the recruitment process, which had the right pieces of the puzzle in the right places.

But two months without a job and multiple interviews each week without finding that place hits that confidence like a sack of sh…eets.

Thankfully I found the place I was looking for shortly after that two month mark, and almost a year on, I’m still very happy and optimistic. But this is a short story of defining moments, and whilst there have been a number of defining moments in my life, today is appreciates this one.

Back yourself. Sometimes in life we need to jump into the dark and trust our instincts (based on fact). At times, hindsight will help us to regret these decisions, but even with that, we know we made the decision for the right reason.

Guise.

Useless

In our world where technology advances at once inconceivable rates, the skills that were once cherished for necessity, have become somewhat of a distant memory. 

There were times when we worked the land, built our own homes with our own hands, baked our own bread, fixed our own problems and so on. Whilst our advancing technology has been such an unimaginable benefit to making life easy, I often find myself simply distracted by it. 

Distracted to a point where I wonder why I can’t build something for myself, or in a way which withholds me from more practical human pursuits. And it makes me think, what are we all going to do with our time, when there are no more jobs to be done by people. When sitting at my desk job becomes a faded reality, and there is no longer any profit to be made because all goods and services are performed by the animated inanimate. 

How do we feel about a world of steel and silicon which we move towards?

I feel somewhat useless. 

Guise. 

Sibling Separation

Separation appears to be the flavour of the month. 

It’s a strange human experience, to willingly watch normal become odd, routine become disruption. The ever changing reality of life means that we are often separated from friends, colleagues, family members, pets, familiar places and spaces. 

I say it is a strange experience, but if anything, with modern medicine at the level it is now, conflict being confined to far fewer countries, and rising property prices, we are actually separated from what is familiar far less than ever before in human history. 

But I think strange is still fair word for this experience, because for some, separation is good, for some it’s bad, and for most it’s often a balance between the two. 

It is strange to make decisions which removes us from familiarity, but we do so anyway. 

And so I think the emotion involved in separation is an example of the advanced nature of human consciousness. Our pets don’t feel any positive being separated from us, nor would they willingly separate themselves from this familiarity (assuming you’re not an abusive owner). 

But I digress.  

Happy House-warming. 

Guise. 

Unicorns 

You can’t cage a unicorn. 

A very wise man once told me, everyone that comes into our lives is a challenge, one with learning to come from it. This stuck with me from that moment, because it rung true with what I had believed about people in my life for a long time. 

It was 7 months ago when I made a decision in my life which was not about money, but about acknowledging that as eager as I was (am), I wasn’t ready for what I wanted to be ready for. I rejected an opportunity to be someone bigger, someone more important. 

At the time I thought I had made the decision to allow myself to grow in a professional sense, I didn’t know that what I was looking for was personal guidance and growth. Demons I had hidden and thought to forget, conversations I refused to have with myself and loved ones. 

It was that decision which led me to find a unicorn. One of those overachieving,over-the-top, good at everything they do, destined for greatness kinds of people. A unicorn. One who with unruly persistence, human understanding and fortitude to bring it to the forefront, helped me find that personal growth I needed. 

But unfortunately, you can’t cage a unicorn. If you meet one, you have to know that they are fleeting, can’t be tied down, always on to the next thing. And for all the good they can do for you,you have to accept that for them, they need to move.

 So thank you. For everything. You’ll always have my gratitude, and my friendship. 
Good luck. 

Guise. 

The Myths of Equality 

I implore you to accept that equality is not equivalent to equity. 

Equality is simply a possible element of, and not an appropriate measure of, fairness. 

You don’t measure the success of a fish on it’s ability to climb a tree. What’s fair for the chimp, is not fair for the fish. Is it fair to say that Men fight topless in combat sports, so Women must also? 

So what’s our fascination with equality. Is it just easier to fight for an equal standard than to justify and highlight the measure of fairness. I mean,  it’s easier to say that person A has this right, so person B should equally have this right, than it is to express where the imbalance of fairness lay. 

Or maybe it’s easier to make the discussion about equality, as opposed to defining our specific gripes. 

Either way, we are encouraging unhealthy social, and also internal, dialogues of comparison and injustice. Life is not equal, it does not exist in a fair and email realm. We often have one of the other.  But as people, if we are to find positive results for. As many as possible, we need to be willing to acknowledge that equality and equity are not one in the same. 

If we acknowledge this, we can control the emotional charge of many of these discussions and aim to be subjective. But I guess the key is, not asking for everything in this world. 

As a disclaimer, DO NOT assume this to be in commentary of any current or future social discussions about equality and fairness. Rather, this is commentary about how we go about discussing them. 

This Sunday thought is one which I hope to continue to explore in the future. Keep posted for more. 

Guise. 

To the Letter of the Law

I’ve approached many challenges and opportunities in life trying to overcome them the “right way” or according to a formula. 

Go to school, behave in class, and try to get a decent HSC grade. Go to university and keep studying to get a job. Get that job and progress to a higher level. And so on and so forth. 

I’ve spent so long thinking that I am following some sort of formula, living life against this metaphorical yardstick. The strangest realisation in this time has been realising that there is no formula, no right way, and that all these expectations were bullshit which I accepted in my life. 

Now I’ve heard the perfect way to appreciate this matter. That is that 

sometimes you have to go the wrong way in a carpark in order to get a spot. 

Celebrate your uniqueness, enjoy making irrational and emotional decisions, find comfort in the constant challenges that we create for ourselves, and trust that we have no control over how any decision we makes pans out in this existence. 

Guise.