The First Wall

I think I’ve hit the first wall. 

On the 1st January 2017, I set a resolution. In an effort to train the writing muscle, I decided that I would be posting on a weekly basis. I wanted to achieve something I have never done before, and that was to transition from being an aspiring writer to simply the latter. 

71 days in, the reality of this challenge is starting to set in. 

Maybe it is simply poor preparation this week, or even an inkling of complacency. This week is the first of the year that I’ve felt blank. So what better to write about this week. 

Whilst the challenge feels as though it grows, I believe I can compare it to training cardio. That feeling of hopelessness as the weight of the challenge sets in. Hitting the first wall. 

Feeling like your body is not capable of getting past it. The panic that the feeling will not pass. Fear of suffocation or asphyxiation. 

But then you learn that if you just push past this sensation, this panic and fear, your body finds its second wind. 

So today I’m choosing not to panic. I’ll acknowledge that I’ll hit my second wind, and after that I’ll hit a second wall. But knowing that I just need to push through makes all the difference. 

Guise. 

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Conquering the Uncomfortable 

There’s growing up, and then there’s growing. As we approach adulthood, and then well into this state of responsibility and obligations, we become so consumed in all the changes that are forced upon us, that some of us forget to change on our own terms. 

We don’t celebrate this enough. We don’t appreciate the times that make those little wins enough. It’s either that we find ourselves comparing to others, becoming drowned the magnitude of the greater goal we want, or are riddled with doubt that we are capable of doing good things. 

And then, we are taken by surprise, because someone tells us they are proud of us. For something simple. For stepping outside the comfort zone. 

I’ve seen this ALOT in the past week, with myself and with others. I don’t feel like I have grown for my experience, but that recognition reinforces what I haven’t appreciated in myself. And that is what will set me up to grow in the near future. 

In the cases with others, I’ve watched that growth and sense of self-belief radiate from their smile. 

I guess the lesson is to appreciate our actions, and the actions of others, for what they are. Not being disappointed because it didn’t change the world, but enjoying that you decided that the regular, and the comfortable, was not enough. And you survived it. 

Guise.