I don’t enjoy being indecisive. In fact it sends me into a self-deprecating cycle of doubt and despair (pardon the melodrama).
It stems from an overarching fear of consequences and hindsight. A fear that at some point in the future I’ll be looking at this decision and think about how clear the answer should have been.
Irrational yes, but we are not rational creatures. We act out in fits of rage, we curse the uncontrollables, and turn to jelly at the sight of rodents, spiders or snakes. So I’m comfortable being irrational in some parts of my life.
This is a part of me that I am trying to address, but behaviour does not change overnight, it is a sustained effort over a long period of time.
One of the worst parts of being indecisive, though, is just how exhausting it is. It isn’t easy playing out multiple decision trees in your head in short periods of time, trying to decide which path is of least damage and best value.
In the meantime, I apologise for the untimely delay in any decisions that I may cause.